Decision Making

There are two clear-cut types of decision makers in the world: those who research all their options before making a decision, and those who see what they want and do it. I would like to say that I'm of the former school. My mother certainly is, as in my boyfriend (although he can be impulsive if the situation arises). My closest friends, on the other hand, are more like me: we see something, we don't think twice.

My track record:
- Deciding on a college. My counselor said something about University of Pittsburgh, I applied, got in, and despite all the research my mother had me do on all the locations (all of which I was also accepted into), I said yes to Pitt. One of the best decisions I made.
- Traveling to New Orleans. I booked my tickets four days before I left the first time I was going. I knew no one there, I had only heard about it. It was amazing, and I've returned four additional times since that first trip.

St. Paul's in NOLA the last day of my visit.

- Studying in France. Two days before the dead line for a study abroad program closed, I submitted an application. Though I do have to say, I thought about this on for a full 48 hours (a longer period of time for me). A month and a half later, I was on a plane.

Black Forest during my visit to France.

But this also goes for things I don't want. Apartments, fashions, places: I can tell you in the first sixty seconds "no". But my decision making style has caused some points of tension with others. Like take for instance, interactions with my mother. She wants to know everything about my rationale. Every. Little. Detail. And yes, I can understand that that is how she works, and that I probably should just look into things a little more so I can be prepared for the absolute barrage of questions when she asks me things, but it's just not in my style of decision making. So, I am ashamed to say, I get a little annoyed when I feel like I have to justify myself or defend my decisions. I have actually given up on things I have wanted to do in the past because of the interrogations: I regret not going through with them now and that I let someone else (even someone I love and respect as much as my mom) influence my decisions that greatly. (By the way, for both traveling and studying abroad, I let her know at the last possible second. Solid call.)
In line with my goals though (see the side bar for the list), I need to "stop snarking". I would really like to work on not necessarily changing how I make decisions (that I've tried. It ain't happening.) but instead how I react to the researcher-type questions posed by others. I've come up with a few options:
Don't tell anyone what I'm planning on doing.
Tell others of my plans, but have research ready.
Acknowledge the questions that come up, but don't address them.
Point people to where they could find more information if they're interested in finding out more what I'm doing.

Obviously there are a few hiccups with all of these ideas. I'm a talker (which I'm sure you've noticed by now), so option one is a little rough. I like to let others know what I'm doing, since a complaint from family and friends all throughout college was that I am all over the place (literally) and they never knew what I was doing. So now I try to give people a heads up of my plans. So scratch number one, save if I elope. (I kid, I kid. My mother would kill me. Seriously.)
Having research ready seems like a solid option. I mean, I could be more informed about my deicison then, and I could answer all the questions that may come up. But this goes back to the original style of decision making: that's just not me. And I want to be comfortable with how I'm acting while pacifying others. Research would just get me frustrated before the fact. (Oddly, by the way, I love doing research for other things: papers, books, presentations, even travel once I know I'm going! Anyways, back to the point…) So not having my head in a happy place even before I have a conversation wouldn't be so hot.
Three and four I think could go hand in hand. Pointing my mom to where she could find out more always worked in telephone conversations and e-mails really well.
"I have the website right here! I can send it to you as soon as I hang up to you can find out more about X and Y."
It was pretty great. But in person, it doesn't work so well. When you're actually physically in front of someone, calling upon technology doesn’t jive. Time to call on strategy number three.
"You're right, that is a good point! I'll have to look into that." Ok, I have said this in the past, and sometimes it helps. I really might look it up later, but mostly for the sake if the person asks me again "hey did you ever find out…?" rather than actually in pursuit of the information (awful, I know, but I want to please people and still work in my own comfort zone). But then again, this has also backfired horribly. Instead of someone being satisfied that you've taken their point into consideration and are going to act on their advice, they are spurred on. Whether this is on the account that they are thrilled that they have offered a piece of advice you're actually going to use, or in shock and horror that you probably haven't thought about A, B, and C, if you haven't thought about X and Z. (Advice correlation? Does such a think exist?)
All in all, people really just like offering their advice. They want to be heard, and I really need to work on my receiving skills. Just like a gift, I need to smile politely, acknowledge their question, and if they remain persistent, offer a place where they can get more information.

Goals incorporated in this challenge:
Smile more
Really listen
Stop snarking
Be patient and respectful

(Sidenote: goal for applying once a week was completed this morning. Boo to the yah.)